


Today Is Not That Day

by SurlyCat



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Because I can, Coda, Dean and his longing, Episode: s10e20 Angel Heart, Feelings, Fluff, Hot Topic, M/M, dadstiel, how could I not?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-30
Updated: 2015-04-30
Packaged: 2018-03-26 11:05:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3848626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SurlyCat/pseuds/SurlyCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean has no choice but to consider what his life has become, that he's currently shopping with an angel in a cluttered hole of a store more commonly known as Hot Topic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Today Is Not That Day

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on my tumblr, but I figured I could clean it up and post it over here, too. Aaaah, one little fic in a sea of 10x20 codas that are going to come rolling in. Enjoy Dean's thinky thoughts for a minute ;)

"Dean, I want to get something for Claire's birthday," Cas whispers, while Claire is distracted.

"Like what?"

"Well, what would you suggest? I don't know what teenage girls are 'into'," Cas replies. At least he's learned to insinuate the air quotes into his voice, nowadays.

"And you think I know?" Dean asks incredulously. 

Cas fixes him with that exasperated yet pleading look, that's become increasingly effective at getting Dean to go along with Cas' suggestions or...as loathe as Dean is to admit it to himself, sometimes Cas' flat out  _orders_. And of course Dean freakin' listens half the time.

With a heavy sigh, Dean scratches at the back of his head. 

"I really don't know, man. But I'm guessing we could swing by the mall and figure it out."

Cas does his version of  _beaming_ with pleasure at having Dean's support, and Dean knows that that little flip flop in his chest at the sight is exactly why it's worth it to give Cas what he wants. The angel has always asked so little of him, while Dean has taken everything, over and over. If going to the mall to buy a trinket for a moody and generally ungrateful Claire is all it takes to make Cas smile like that, then Dean supposes it's really not that much to ask.

And this is how Dean finds himself walking through a special kind of Hell that he's only ever heard of, but never had to experience first hand, until now: Hot Topic.

 

The shelves are cluttered, the music is approximately loud enough to give a bar a run for its money, and the tiny store has merchandise clear up to the ceilings on every wall. If it weren't for the fact that there are so many teenagers wandering around that seem to be wearing about as much eyeliner as Claire tends to sport, Dean would be out of there in a heartbeat. Unfortunately though, this actually does look like their best bet for finding something she might like, so Dean grits his teeth and follows Cas in, ignoring the quirked eyebrows and odd looks from the other people in the store. 

"Hey guys, need help finding anything?" a girl with painfully bright orange hair asks as she steps over to them. 

"Actually, yes, we're looking for something appropriate for a birthday gift for a teenaged girl that neither of us know very well," Cas says, so completely honest, and oblivious to how creepy that could sound. 

The girl looks at Dean, as if hoping he can translate Cas' words in some way that doesn't indicate them as pedophiles or stalkers. Yet again, Dean finds himself supplying the magic words to salvage a social situation that could go downhill incredibly fast if Cas speaks again.

"Not anymore," Dean shakes his head sadly. "It's just so hard to know what your kid's into, when they won't open up to you about anything. We try, but it's hard when she has it in her head that neither of us remember what it's like to be young, you know?" Dean says, putting on a commendable display of looking downtrodden at his supposed teenaged daughter's resolve to keep things from them. 

He just hopes like hell that Cas doesn't blurt something about how he really doesn't remember being young, because 'angels aren't born, Dean. No one gives birth to particles of light and energy; they're simply constructed into a cohesive lifeform.' Or something like that. Just to be on the safe side, he makes sure that his eyes glint with the silent  _Shut up_  that he's thinking as loudly as possible, in Cas' direction. 

The sales girl nods, face full of understanding, and Dean lets out a discreet breath of relief. 

"Well, maybe just go with something that isn't too specific, then, or maybe a gift card. Either way, my name's Elise, and if you have any questions, just let me know, alright, guys?" she smiles politely, before turning to unlock a cabinet full of piercing jewelry for a dude that looks about as thrilled to be in there as Dean is.

Cas quirks a brow at Dean once they're alone, and Dean knows that it's on the tip of Cas' tongue to ask why Dean let the sales girl think that Claire is  _their_ daughter. No. Dean is not even going there right now, so he simply gives a tight smile and claps Cas on the back, subtly steering him toward a random corner of the store. But of course he just had to pick  _this_ corner, because the odds are so rarely ever in Dean's favor.

Dean’s can't stop the way his eyebrows climb up his forehead at the startlingly substantial amount of fandom merch, for what he still refuses to call The Winchester Gospels, despite what Cas says. He tries, though fairly unsuccessfully, not to mutter under his breath about how the books were only supposed to have a cult following, and what the hell happened?? Dean internally screams, when he's abruptly reminded then, that Metatron dumped all of that pop culture on Cas, and Dean remembers that he was definitely ‘full frontal’ in the books. Holy crap, Cas knows. Cas totally has that shit swimming around in that giant brain of his, and there’s Destiel merch, and oh god! Meanwhile, Cas is just standing there squinting at a shirt with an illustration of what's supposed to be himself, that says, ‘I gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition,’ and Dean is officially ready to get the fuck out of this freakin' store. Jesus Christ, there's even a red handprint on the left shoulder of the shirt!

“Why does everyone think there’s so much difference in our heights?” Cas is mumbling to himself, as he adds a head tilt to the squint.

Oh great. Cas is looking at a goddamned Destiel shirt, now. Dean’s eyes start flitting around the store, trying to find anything to distract Cas from the clusterfuck of things that he has no desire to explain right now, and he makes a much calmer suggestion about the grumpy cat he spots, than he’s actually feeling. Thankfully, Cas latches onto the idea and finally moves away from the Supernatural section. Dean lets out a deep breath as he follows behind Cas to the little shelves housing some stuffed animals and plushies. Bullet dodged. There will likely come a day when he and Cas have no choice but to talk about The Thing they’ve both been building toward, and Dean suspects it’ll be sooner rather than later. Today however, is not that day, because there is no way Dean Winchester going to be spurred to talk about his Very Manly Feelings in the middle of a freakin’ Hot Topic while he and Cas shop together for a birthday present for their surrogate daughter. Because that's exactly what she is to both of them, and Dean knows it. 

The ridiculousness of the situation does not escape him, and he can’t help but huff a sarcastic laugh to himself at it all. Cas turns at the sound, eyebrow cocked in question, with the freakin’ grumpy cat in his hands. It looks so tiny in his large hands, and he’s holding it with an almost absurd delicacy. But then again, the angel _is_ capable of burning the very soul out of someone with a mere touch, and summoning a bolt of lightning to strike a demon down just because he feels like showing off. To Cas, anything good and worth its own existence probably warrants care and gentleness, for fear of breaking it with his own strength. And here the _angel_ is, doing something so mundane as shopping for a birthday present in a Hot Topic, and holding a stuffed animal that he intends on buying for a teenaged girl. A girl that Dean totally just alluded out loud to, as being their daughter. Jesus fucking Christ, how is this Dean's life?

“You’re sure she’ll like it? I don’t…I don’t know how to make her happy, Dean. I just want to make her a little bit happy, after all she's been through,” Cas says quietly, tone so guilty and worried.

Dean brings an arm up to wrap around the back of Cas’ shoulders, and leans in close as he squeezes reassuringly at Cas’ bicep, because there’s no one there but them to see it, and maybe he's been testing it out a little bit lately; these closer, and more intimate touches. Not holding back as much on the affection he always wants to show, and so far, it's been met with positive reactions. The minute relaxation of Cas' shoulders, the barely there way he leans into the touch. And sometimes he _doesn't_ react, but that's just as good, because to Dean, it simply means that Cas is getting used to it and doesn't think anything of it that Dean would do such a thing. But right now, Dean want to touch because dammit, it just hurts seeing Cas internally punish himself for what must be the millionth time in the last couple of years alone.

“Yeah Cas, I think it’ll be okay,” Dean smiles gently.

There are any number of ways Cas could take that simple little sentence, but Dean knows by the way Cas’ eyes soften and flicker with faint hope that Cas is imagining all of them; all of the ways that maybe, just maybe things will be okay someday.

“Come on, let’s buy the thing and get out of here already. We’ve still gotta stop at Target and pick up a gift bag and stuff,” Dean deflects. Seriously, they need to get out of there before Dean dies of claustrophobia, surrounded by inaccurate depictions of he and Cas and Sam, and Tardis paraphernalia that he pretends he won’t be coming back for, for Charlie’s birthday.

“What are _you_ going to give her?” Cas asks, noticing Dean’s empty hands.

“Ah…making it up as I go?”

Cas fixes what Dean privately calls his Disapproving Husband face on him, and says, “Just…don’t give her something inappropriate because you’re in a rush, Dean.”

“What? Why would you say that? Pffft,” Dean hedges. No, he was not at all considering giving Claire a gun for her own protection. Nope, not even a little bit.

“ _Dean_.”

And with that, Cas sighs like he just _knows,_ and goes to the checkout counter, pulling out his own dubiously obtained credit card proudly because it’s his and he gets to do this himself, making awkward chitchat with the orange-haired girl at the register.

Somehow, Dean can’t even summon up any irritation at Cas giving him The Look, and Dean inwardly shakes his head at himself. Dean Winchester, survivor of Hell, the apocalypse, dead many times over, killer of the Father of Murder himself, has spent time in every realm above, below, topside, and sideways. Yet here he is, standing in a Hot Topic in some dump of a mall, getting single-word-lectured by an angel that’s purchasing a stuffed grumpy cat. Seriously, how does the guy do it, managing to pack so much into just saying Dean’s _name_?

Of all the scenarios Dean never expected in his life, this is in the top ten at least. That grumpy asshole that came to him in Bobby’s kitchen and threatened (in a startlingly sexy way) to throw Dean back in Hell, is now an affectionate grumpy asshole, and has Dean so whipped he can freakin’ silence him with a single touch to his arm. A word. _Dean_.

 _Good thing thoughts and feelings and shit don’t count as prayers_ , Dean thinks to himself, patting himself on the back for keeping it all to himself until the right time. Which, as he already considered, is not in the middle of a crowded store full of teenagers. And Cas is just smiling that odd, soft little smile he gets sometimes as they walk out together. It's the kind of smile that one would reserve for thinking about a happy little secret, or stray thought that has no intention of being uttered at the moment.

Cas is still kind of a weird little dude sometimes, so Dean leaves it be. There's no telling, with millennia of existence under his belt, what Cas could be thinking about, but Dean figures that if Cas wants to share with the class, then he'll do it. 

It's impossible for Cas to keep the smile off his lips, when he knows that even in the midst of being reprimanded, Dean was still radiating longing like a beacon. Cas is certain that Dean will be ready to talk about it soon, but he also knows that today is not that day. That's okay though. The intent is what's important, and he knows without a doubt that he is loved by Dean Winchester.

**Author's Note:**

> Come, have the feelings with me, over on my [Tumblr](http://surly-cat.tumblr.com).


End file.
